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Implicit in this I have been looking for solutions which use the information content of the paper but, I mean, it's also a physical artifact as well. Jacob pays for an essay which is 300 pages long (needing it to be a coherent essay just in case someone stops him and demands to see it, for example) -- and then he rigs it above the turn-in slot so that he drops it on Dr. Alice's head as she is picking up the papers, knocking her out cold: he then anonymously calls an ambulance and uses the added time that she is recovering in the hospital to complete his actual essay.

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To me this is actually a fun question insofar as we ask, "well, what about that word usually up there: you said it's not usually cheating, but how unusual can we make this?" In other words: are there situations where you can pay for an essay that you will never read or submit, and you still somehow use it to cheat? And the answer is yes.